When Darkness Falls

I almost forgot you were here! Just popping in to say hello and see what weird state of mind I was in last time I was here!

Yes I agree! I was in a very weird mood!

Vitamin E linked to lung cancer

Taking high doses of vitamin E supplements can increase the risk of lung cancer, research suggests.

The US study of 77,000 people found taking 400 milligrams per day long-term increased cancer risk by 28% - with smokers at particular risk.

Well I guess it's irrelevant since I'm not gettin it anyways.

And for all you prudes out there, who gives a flying rats arse if I'm not Mr Sweet Innocent Kev anymore. Feck that I am no angel - I am sure most females have done it in their lives anyways! If you haven't then you're weird.

Feck it the rest is on the bbc website, just go to news and then click one of the most read. The main details are there!

... is this life

What a horrible feeling inside - like everything has changed. It would be easy to think that I should be happy with everything that is going on around me, but I am not. I feel like I am on the verge of something painful or haunting and it makes me feel nervous and ill.

The other day I got out of bed and thought "Hey it's Morgans birthday - today could be cool!", but that pretty much changed after being at work for ten minutes! A PC crashed in a school because of some new memory they had put in, and so I telephoned the company they bought them from and they asked me to run a memory check and print the results. Well obviously I couldnt do that there so I decided to take it back to my office and test it.

And just as I was leaving the secretary asked if I could install a printer on the other PC. So in my new coat I picked the printer up and proceeded to pour a load of black ink all over myself.

Thirty minutes later I was at home getting changed and trying to get the ink out of everything. Another coat ruined - I guess I am just destined not to have a nice coat for very long, another one I bought myself got burned on St Paddies night a couple of years ago.

So anyways, whilst I was at home I decided to run the memory check in my own PC. DOH!!! The memory then proceeded to crash my pc, never to work again - ish. Well we shall see, if I spent more time fixing it, either way it's going to be a complete rebuild. I just hope i don't lose anything on it! I have lots of valuable sentimental things on there.

And you think that is all that went wrong that day? Well no!

I was asleep later on and my phone bleeped. No-one had text so I thought that's weird. My phone makes a stupid buzzing sound when the charger is plugged in, so I unplugged the charger only for my phone to slide off the curtain (which I am yet to put up) and into my pint of water! Feck sakes!!!!

New phone alert me thinks!

And then to wrap it all off, I went out last night, won a load of money at the new casino in Liverpool and then proceeded to have an argument with a friend from work - who promptly decided to tell me to fuck off and never text her again!

Well I look forward to work on Monday then!!!

Arrrgh horrid uneasy feeling alert!

Right I am offski, have fun all x

I am about to burn a whole load of bridges I can feel it. When I have a squad around me that is far too big for me to manage I find it extremely hard to concentrate on the few important members of the squad.

I know making friends sound like a football team is harsh, but it's not quite jelling for me. I am not really close to anyone any more. In fact I have no close friends left. My choice of course, I made it this way so burning my bridges became easy. And I can feel it is close.

I watch all those I have distanced myself from move on whilst I haven't quite gone anywhere. It's a consequence of being me I suppose - I like to watch other peoples lives evolve and just walk around slowly and aimlessly.

It comes to a point when I wonder if I really want to watch everyone else evolve. I say to myself "life's too short", but at the same time I tell myself there is no rush. But I have made the decision that there are a fair few telephone numbers I no longer need, and in fact they most definitely don't need me.

I don't feel guilt, I feel like it is evolution, on my part too...

My brain is mashed - no drinking for me for a while!

I have just realised it!!! I sit here all lethargic and I can't be arsed to do anything. I rather enjoy the comments I have received but I am not in the frame of mind to "enjoy" them properly and go with the banter.

So tonight I go get myself another bottle of whisky and have a nice double from that.

Then I will spend the next couple of weeks relaxing, but working too. In the meantime everyone have lots of fun and merryment and I will catch up when I return...

Ta ra for a bit!

I really should - it's Thursday and I'm supposed to be happy and looking forward to the weekend.

But alas I am not.

Every little thing is getting to me today / tonight.

Ah feck it I'm offski, tomorrow is another day.

Nighty night x

I am here!! What can I buy? That'll sort me out!

Oh and how comes I always make people feel like shite?

And how comes refs always make me feel like shite!?

Yesterday was by far my darkest day for sometime. I was lying in bed hating myself and the world. I wasn't even sure what was wrong with me. So for this very reason I dreamt of this blog!

I dreamt of a cabin on a lake, and I dreamt of being alone in this cabin on a lake. It was a very wooden cabin, but it had lots of windows and a rather large glass door! When I was looking at this glass door it was so dark outside all I could see was the reflection of myself, sitting in a comfy chocolate leather sofa. Alone!

It was actually a very scary dream, because at any point a horrid creature could have appeared at the windows or door, but they never did. The anticipation of it though was enough to keep me on tenterhooks throughout the dream. I most definitely did not want to be alone!

This blog is to vent all my anxieties and lifes annoyances and I suspect lots of people wont like it. But that's because it's for people I hate, when I hate them. Hopefully this continues to be a rare occurrence!

If it does happen though, this blog is here so I wont be so alone as I was last night!